[2022: Player count decreases by one. Four survivors, five markings moved.]
[2022: Player count decreases by one. Three survivors, four markings moved.]
The sudden announcement fell onto Lin Jue’s company like a lightning strike. The four paused and looked back at the collapsing building. In the sable night, all they could hear was endless sounds of rocks of various sizes falling from the walls, onto the ground and into the lava, slowly yet surely wearing down that dormitory.
Gu Fengyi asked in shock and bemusement, “What happened? Don’t tell me they had a fight between themselves?”
Song Hanzhang looked at the time – 2:09 – then looked at the roof, a dark light flashing through his eyes.
Was it time already? As the only one in the team who knew what happened, Song Hanzhang sighed inwardly. These two announcements were like an unagreed yet understood signal, signifying the arrival of a cruel future.
But even if it was so terribly cruel, it was the safest method that could ensure that the most people survived.
Song Hanzhang’s fingertips rubbed the cold and heavy dagger, and recalled the conversation he held with Lu Ren not long ago – the Lu Ren from 2022. Even though Lin Jue didn’t recognize him, Song Hanzhang saw through him easily.
He had felt that the two cloaked people in Team 2022 were extremely suspicious ever since he saw them at the corpse ball. Just as he had guessed, the only reason to put on a cloak was to keep their past teammates from recognizing them. If one of the cloaked figures was Su Tian, originally a player from 2002, then who was the other one?
Even though that cloaked man didn’t use his signature Tang dao, his battle style and actions made Song Hanzhang extremely suspicious. If that person really was Lu Ren, why would he be in Team 2022? Did he spend ten years in the game?
Song Hanzhang immediately eliminated that ridiculous possibility. In this game, time was meaningless – the fact that it could make three teams from different parts of the timeline meet already proved this. They were detached from the conventional flow of time; even if they stayed in this game for ten rounds, a hundred rounds, a thousand rounds, they still belonged to the bucket of their year, it was impossible to suddenly jump to another year.
Then did Team 2012 achieve the final victory and return to reality and normal life, while Lu Ren returned to the game after ten years?
No, that was also impossible. ‘Lilith’ would never agree to anyone leaving then returning, that would become an uncontrollable variable that completely disrupted the game. Plus, Lu Ren’s personality meant that even if they won, he wouldn’t wish to return to reality.
Eliminating the possibility of Team 2012 winning and returning to reality, the biggest possibility would end up being that Lu Ren had died like Su Tian, and had been revived in 2022. That was the guess that Song Hanzhang made at the end of the corpse ball. But it raised an even worse question – where were he and Lin Jue?
Lu Ren appeared in team 2022, but not Song Hanzhang nor Lin Jue. Why?
Because they had already died.
It was a painful hypothesis for Song Hanzhang; he refused to accept this future.
Fate mocked him with abandon, turning his efforts into a complete joke.
Lu Ren was dead, and he and Lin Jue were most likely dead as well. What did that mean? It meant that the ending for Team 2012 was a team kill! His efforts, his struggles, his plans, what did any of them mean?
This blow on him was no less than his guess that the world was fake. In this enormous feeling of defeat, Song Hanzhang had tried to hide his feelings, but Lin Jue ended up seeing through him and had asked him so carefully how he was.
For the first time, Song Hanzhang understood what it meant to be frozen mute. Lin Jue had trusted him so, placed his entire life in his hands, had been willing to help him bear all of his pain and difficulties, but he had betrayed his trust. What a pathetic and shameful defeat.
He had to think of a way, a way to get out of this tragedy.
And then that key character appeared. On the way to rendezvous with Team 2022 at the plaza, they met Lu Ren – the Lu Ren from 2022.
It was only then that Song Hanzhang was able to confirm that the cloaked man from 2022 was Lu Ren. He wrapped his long saber in cloth and carried it on his back, looking the same as ten years ago, grinning as he waved at them.
At that moment, Song Hanzhang understood.
Was that so.
Was that so.
So the script of the future locked inside a box was open to him. And the person who wrote this script had been none other than himself.
Gu Fengyi and Lin Jue blindly guessed at the situation in Team 2022 without any success. Song Hanzhang listened to their fantastical ideas and finally couldn’t help but remind them, “There is an unknown variable in Team 2022. The fact that they suddenly lost two members probably has something to do with them.”
Gu Fengyi considered. “You mean the man in the cloak?”
Song Hanzhang nodded.
“If you mean in combat power alone, it’s possible that he killed them, but why would he kill his own team members? If it led to him failing in the end, even he wouldn’t be able to return to reality,” Gu Fengyi pointed out.
Song Hanzhang smiled, a standard Song Hanzhang smile, his tone and expression seemingly filled with hidden mockery. “Can any of us defeat him?”
Lin Jue looked at his shoes guiltily. He was flexible and knew when to give up, that was also a good trait to have – he comforted himself.
Gu Fengyi muttered reluctantly, “If we locked onto the target and assassinated him…”
“Don’t worry, they only have three people and we have five. You shot Zuo Linyuan, didn’t you? We still have the upper hand, so at most we’ll just have to convince Lu Ren to join us,” Liu Qingqing reassured her.
“Not five, six,” Song Hanzhang corrected her.
“Dan Liang… I wonder where he ran off to.” Lin Jue finally found an opportunity to cut in. He felt angry every time he thought of Dan Liang. That guy stirred up a storm everywhere he went but was as agile as a flea, running away immediately when things started to go wrong. It was quite a feat for him to survive until now while being hunted down by everybody.
“He is nearby,” Song Hanzhang said confidently.
“Huh?” Lin Jue immediately looked around nervously. “Where, where?”
Looking at his reaction, Song Hanzhang pursed his lips. “Judging by his personality, he wouldn’t give up on a chance to observe our drama. I predict he didn’t go far, but rather found a place he can watch us from. But it would be difficult to find him.”
Lin Jue immediately felt rotten. This feeling of being stalked was so revolting.
Gu Fengyi touched the body of her crossbow, the loaded bow glinting dangerously under the faded light. “What do we do now?”
“Wait and see.” Song Hanzhang looked up again at the eroding building.
The antenna on Lin Jue’s head called ‘Song Hanzhang’s Emotion Detector’ perked up again. He looked at Song Hanzhang strangely, instinctively sensing that something was wrong. Usually, Song Hanzhang wasn’t the type to ‘wait and see’. Even if it really was necessary, he would have listed out his possible plans before doing the ‘seeing’. But he didn’t seem very enthusiastic right now.
“Then we’ll ambush them here. The people from 2022 will be trying to leave that building as soon as possible, we just have to wait for them. The neighboring building is more or less intact, we can stay there.” Gu Fengyi still didn’t want to give up on this chance to ambush them, victory was at hand.
“Alright.” Song Hanzhang didn’t object.
The sense of otherness grew stronger in Lin Jue’s heart. Sometimes he was like a sensitive small animal, always noticing the change in the weather before the human did.
The sound of applause was heard and a laughing voice rang out from above them. They looked up in turn only to see Dan Liang leaning out of a window from the building they had picked to ambush 2022 from, grinning at them. “I agree as well!”
“Fuck!” Gu Fengyi shot immediately but Dan Liang dodged the arrow easily due to the distance. She asked with murderous fury, “Do we go after him?”
“Go,” Song Hanzhang said.
Gu Fengyi licked her lips, loaded her crossbow, and pulled Liu Qingqing with her into the building. Lin Jue and Song Hanzhang didn’t tarry and followed closely behind into the relatively intact dormitory building.
The corridor lights were even more faded than the streetlamps, the emergency exits shining an eerie and terrifying green.
Gu Fengyi and Liu Qingqing sprinted through the halls, as if they were trying to catch up to Dan Liang before he escaped. Gu Fengyi’s snake-sense was terrifyingly sensitive in this closed off space and with her stealth skill, it was more than easy to pinpoint Dan Liang’s position and slaughter him in a suitable ambush location.
Dang Liang had already considered this issue. Even though he didn’t know about Gu Fengyi’s stealth, he still held fear for her snake-sense. But at the plaza, he had received his scent-lightening spray, and he had been emboldened appropriately. Plus, he used to live in the southern dormitories, while Gu Fengyi had lived in the northern dormitories. The inner designs for the two areas were different, with the corridors here in the shape of an L rather than a straight corridor with stairs on either side, making it easier to avoid his murderous hunters.
The chase went well on Gu Fengyi’s side but Lin Jue ran into a little problem. The sturdy-looking concrete stairs were not as stable as he had imagined. Lin Jue had just ran past them when he heard the sound of crumbling cement from behind him; half the stairs had fallen, revealing the heavily corroded metal bars underneath. Seeing that the platform behind his feet was also starting to crack, Song Hanzhang said decisively, “I’ll get up from the other set of stairs.”
“Then I’ll wait for you there!” Lin Jue said immediately.
Song Hanzhang nodded, turned, and left him a lonely silhouette, walking further and further away in this corridor filled with the filth of blood until he disappeared behind a corner.
At that moment, Lin Jue felt as if he had lost something.
Stop overthinking, quickly get across to meet with Xuezhang. Lin Jue shook off the unformed thoughts in his mind and ran to the stairs on the other side.
Leaning against the wall near the corner of the corridor, Song Hanzhang silently counted the seconds before glancing at the watch on his wrist: 02:14.
The growing smell of blood and rust made him extremely uncomfortable. For someone with slight mysophobia, this environment was akin to spiritual contamination. He didn’t want to stay a second longer in this world.
This L-shaped corridor wasn’t long, Lin Jue would be able to run across it in at most half a minute. Seeing that he wasn’t at the promised location, he would definitely call after him, searching for him like a pitiful pet that had lost its owner. After failing to find him, Lin Jue would suspect that he had entered an illusion, but he would never even begin to think that he had been left behind of Song Hanzhang’s own volition, because he refused to accept such a possibility.
So he didn’t actually have much time to get rid of Lin Jue.
But this fatigue of almost reaching his destination, it made Song Hanzhang unable to take the first step. Secretly, he even wished that Lin Jue would find him, even if it would be an ‘accident’, something akin to a cat walking all over the script with ink-stained paws, making a mess of the story beneath it.
But this ‘accident’ printed all over with cat paws was still cute. Because in the eyes of the owner, the one who caused the accident was just so adorable.
He had always thought that he was someone more rational than emotional, it was what his past twenty years had told him – he lacked empathy, he had difficulty understanding other people. Even though it wasn’t to the point of Antisocial Personality Disorder, he knew very well his differences and hid them carefully. He was forced to as a child, in a habit that became instinct1.
There was a defect on his soul. Whether it was his nature or a regret formed by his nurture, he couldn’t tell, but nor did he want to know such meaningless trivia. What he cared about was how that flaw would affect his life.
This defect made him unable to form any sincere friendships with others, and he very well might never be able to form a family. He didn’t want to force himself to find a partner in order to achieve ‘normalcy’ either. It would be a long and hypocritical deception, and in the end, one of them, or maybe even both of them. would feel the pain from that marriage.
So then was he destined to walk this life by himself? Even if he was successful in the future, at the end of his life, he would still be alone.
Did he feel bitter regret about it? Yes, he felt bitter, and regretful.
Because in the depth of his heart, he still craved for something he had never received before – an equal, trusting, respectful, inclusive relationship.
But now, he had it.
So he was hesitant, lovestruck, yet he had to pretend to be uncaring. Because in his eyes, revealing his true thoughts was dangerous and insecure; it made him feel unsafe. It was like putting down his only weapon in a forest filled with dangerous creatures, letting unknown beasts control his fate.
He even instinctively wanted to doubt and question, and even the rare fear Lin Jue showed to him made him uneasy and anxious. But this constant worry was no doubt foolish. He could only observe him silently, test Lin Jue cautiously, until through one danger after another, that emotion Lin Jue felt for him was confirmed again and again, until even he believed in it.
Yes. When the wary old hunter accidentally saved a young pup as he walked through the dark forest, that naive and courage pup followed him with adoration, tenderly licking the back of his arm when he was frustrated and lost, protecting him despite its fear of those fearsome woodland beasts, not giving up even when it was covered in wounds.
Without fear, was was valor?
His courage was almost naive, but it wasn’t ignorant. It was a choice made even after knowing the dangers, it was the sincere heart of a child that could only exist after approaching that danger and hardship countless times. It was impossible not to be moved.
For the first time, he was glad he entered this game. If not for this extreme and terrifying environment, they would never have gotten to know each other. If they had met in the real world, he would never have seen Lin Jue in the light he did and Lin Jue would never have been able to accept his personality. The chances of them becoming friends would have been infinitely close to zero.
But if they couldn’t return, then this luck would be meaningless; he wouldn’t even be able to share his real feelings with Lin Jue. If they really returned to reality though, he wouldn’t allow Lin Jue to turn and leave, he would hold onto him, make him stay willingly at any cost.
For this future, even if it was cruel, even if it was painful, even if it would cost him his life, he was willing to try. As long as the ending was happy, he was willing to endure every pain it had to offer.
For him, it was love.
***
1Okay, Song Hanzhang is being pretty dramatic here. ASPD is defined by a lack of empathy but more importantly, a disregard for others and for law or morality. A more familiar term for someone with ASPD might be a ‘psychopath’ or a ‘sociopath’ (please don’t use these though, they’re not actual diagnoses. Neither a psychopath nor a sociopath exists clinically.) Key features of ASPD are actually impulsivity, irresponsibility, and disregard for the safety of others/themselves, which is the opposite of how Song Hanzhang has been characterized. He’s nowhere near close to an ASPD diagnosis, which is why I bet he’s not specializing into psychiatry.
Vera & Luci Translations 