Humans had emotions: when they experienced something negative, they would be sad or angry. Those with small hearts could hold grudges for long stretches, waiting for time to slowly pass and for there to be enough days to bury everything and say in the end, it was nothing, don’t worry about it.
For events that had already occurred, no matter how we viewed them subjectively, they had already passed. There was no point clinging to them.
Ten years wouldn’t change anything; a whole lifetime wouldn’t change anything. Yet An Jie refused to understand that.
Mu Lian had asked him to not hurt He Jingming, so he hurt himself instead. He gave up and decided that everything was the result of his own mistakes, because that was the only way he could push down his hatred and follow through with that irrefutable promise. He floated across different lands, becoming a person of good character, yet he had never even thought of becoming part of society, of becoming a normal, happy person with a sense of belonging.
An Jie was like a muddle-headed child, truanting, fighting, bringing back papers covered in red crosses to get ‘revenge’ on their parents’ inattention – but who was he hurting under this cross of self-abuse? Was it those old friends who hurt him yet could still care for him? Or… Mu Lian who abandoned him, then bound him with her death?
Mo Cong felt that although this fresh-looking old man enjoyed pretending he had seen all that life had to offer, he was in essence, the same as his dead father. They were both psychologically unweaned. They lived pointlessly for so many years, contributing nothing to the world but some worn-away shoes. For An Jie even to be able to say the word ‘responsibility’ must count as some form of plagiarism; the word didn’t exist in his dictionary at all! Someone who didn’t care for themselves, who didn’t treat their own life with respect, deserved to die alone.
But he had just happened to fall in love with this scum-of-the-earth old man, Mo Cong thought in frustration. He had already forgotten what had attracted him at the very beginning; each time they fought their bloodless battles, each time he was rejected with a different reason, he grew to think that An Jie was hopeless and that there was nothing good about him at all. Yet he couldn’t control the fact that every time he saw him, the hormones in his body went haywire.
Zui She said hoarsely, “I promised to let you listen in. Did you hear everything?”
Mo Cong nodded.
Zui She turned to look at him. The shock and confusion in his eyes had all but faded away, replaced by a sense of aggression. “You heard, so what will you do now?”
But Mo Cong didn’t fall prey to him and maintained immunity to the supposed ‘kingly dominance’ he was showing. He shrugged, his expression matter-of-fact, but his tone firm. “I’ll continue chasing after him.”
Zui She fell silent for a long while, as if carefully considering those straightforward words. Finally, he forced out, “How?”
Mo Cong looked at him with a smile. He took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and held one between his fingers. “It won’t be difficult, but it won’t be easy either. We can look at the example of He Jingming, that sneaky rat, already. An Jie shouldn’t be called a fox1, he’s just a toad that jumps really well. Not even mentioning how fast he’ll flee from the slightest movement, he’ll fight to the death if he’s caught unawares. Against someone like him, you need to boil him alive slowly.
Zui She looked at Mo Cong in horror, as if he had suddenly turned into Tuxedo Mask2.
After expressing his once-in-a-lifetime opinions, Mo Cong leisurely lit his cigarette and pulled on the collars of his jacket. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll be taking my leave. I have an appointment at the cemetery today. Even though my father will be staying in the desert, as his son, I’d still like to find him a place here, even if it’s just putting some clothes in a hole. We’ll have something to think of, and if the old man’s soul returns, he’ll get a place to rest.” He shook his head and revealed a bitter smile. “Children wish to support their parents, but time is merciless… I was ungrateful when he was alive. There’s nothing much I can do now, but everything counts.”
Saying that, he nodded at Zui She and walked out.
Zui She recalled how An Jie described this young man, how he felt when he first saw Mo Cong, and all the different tales about the Chancellor… and realized that he had changed.
Sometimes, love and hate could make someone grow up all in one night.
An Jie didn’t go straight home after leaving Zui She’s. He strolled along the road, then went down to the subway, got onto Line 2, and stayed there. He watched as different people got on and got off, and sat through the subway route twice.
Even though he still held a lot back, he had probably revealed a bit too much to Zui She. Enough for him to no longer be controlling his thoughts at least. That self-appointed veteran psychologist was really a quack; he never managed to fix his issues and chased him off with a ‘patient is not cooperating’. An Jie had to slowly comb through his brain in a crowded place like this to throw aside the unnecessary and ponder what needed to be pondered. An environment like this made him feel safe.
It was only when night began to slowly shroud the sky that he stepped into the corridors of his unit.
Ever since Mo Cong had stopped blocking him at his door, the desire to step away in An Jie’s mind upon entering the building had lessened significantly. He didn’t expect for there to be, once more, someone waiting for him at his door. This time though, it wasn’t Mo Cong waiting for him, but Mo Jin.
She looked rather pale, and when An Jie was walking up the stairs, she had her back to him as if pondering the depths of the world in the door of his unit. Hearing him, Mo Jin turned around suddenly as if shocked, widening her already-not-small eyes at An Jie. It took a while before she formed a phrase. “An- An Jie-gege.”
An Jie took out his keys and opened the door as he joked, “What happened? You look like you’ve been steamed. Where’s your brother and Xiao Yu?”
“My brother went off to Babao Mountain and he’s not back yet. Xiao Yu caught a cold and she’s already sleeping.”
“She’s sick? Is it serious? Do you need me to look after her?”
“Nothing serious, no fever, just her nose is blocked and she’s not bothered to study anymore so she’s off to sleep. My brother said he’ll bring medicine back – An Jie-ge, there’s something I want to ask you.”
An Jie was a little shocked. He never expected that this crazy girl could adopt such a serious tone. He waved his hands. “Come, we’ll talk inside.”
Mo Jin followed him into the room. For some reason, An Jie felt that she was stressed by something, and that stressed him out as well. Whatever bullshit that unfortunate four-eyed bastard Sixteen had told her, nothing good could come out of it. He poured Mo Jin a cup of juice, took off his jacket, and sat next to her. “What happened?”
Mo Jin bit down on her lip. After a long, deliberating pause, she asked, “An Jie-ge… did you know my dad?”
An Jie paused. “Your brother told you?”
Mo Jin hesitated, then nodded. The lighting in the stairway was dim. It was only now that An Jie realized her complexion was deathly pale. She continued, “Then… how did you meet my dad?”
“Oh, I got lost when I was travelling in the desert and happened to run into your father’s archeology team.” An Jie kept it simple. He understood that the old professor’s death affected Mo Jin the most. Even though he didn’t know what she wanted, he didn’t want to mention the harrowing experience to her. “What’s wrong?”
Mo Jin stared unmovingly at An Jie. After a while, she seemed to realize something and lowered her eyes. She felt out a crinkled piece of paper from her pocket and passed it to An Jie silently.
An Jie frowned, took the paper, and read. Immediately, his expression changed. The handwriting on the paper was twisted like a child’s writing, but it was written in a strange, almost dark-red ink, hiding some sort of bizarre and eerie secret. And the contents – it was the blood-scribed words he had seen on that wall in the ancient city!
The final line ‘to come with many, and leave alone’ was written in an especially twisted manner, and the final stroke replicated the writing on that dilapidated wall, dragging down in a long tail like the drool of a monster with its mouth wide open.
An Jie jerked his head up. “Who gave this to you? Was it that man with black glasses? It was, wasn’t it?”
Mo Jin looked at him in a daze. “An Jie-ge, is this real?”
“Xiao Jin, in the future, you shouldn’t…”
“Then what’s written on this is true? Only one person can leave that place?”
“That old city did have this saying.” An Jie sighed. “But…”
He cut himself off, staring at Mo Jin in shock. His abdomen felt cold, immediately followed by a sharp pain crawling up his nerves. The change happened so quickly and so unbelievably that An Jie almost froze up. After a while, he finally, disbelievingly lowered his gaze and stared at the dagger in his abdomen.
Mo Jin’s hand on the dagger shook like a sieve. She suddenly let go and stood up, stumbling and taking a few steps back. Meeting An Jie’s gaze, she spat out a word through trembling lips. “Mur…derer.”
“Xiao Jin, what are you saying?” An Jie didn’t know where this stupid girl had stabbed him but when he felt down, his shirt was soaked in blood already. He thought, he must have jinxed himself this morning by telling Zui She that Shui Shi should’ve stabbed him when he had the chance. Karma was a bitch.
“Murderer!” Mo Jin said and took a step back. “Sixteen said that you’re the reason Dad died and I didn’t believe him… I, Xiao Yu, we liked you so much… We liked you better than our own brother, we trusted you! But you’re the reason that Dad died!”
She pointed at the fallen piece of paper. “It was because of this, wasn’t it? The rules of the city: only one person can make it out alive, you killed my dad because of that! Right? Right? Right?!”
What the fuck was this bullshit… This girl’s desire to vent was so strong that she drowned out An Jie’s attempts to interrupt her with her hysterical screaming. His lips slowly dried out, his eyes darkening. Mo Jin’s voice grew further and further away, but he slowly lost the strength to answer the demands and questions ringing in his ears.
As long as it was before the Supreme Court, even death row prisoners had the chance to appeal. To not even give him the opportunity to speak… An Jie thought miserably, he always felt that this girl lacked a few brain cells but was the most carefree of the Mo family children. To find out she was saving up a big one and waiting for him…
His consciousness finally gave up on him. An Jie could never have imagined he could die so miserably.
Author’s Notes:
Led a volunteer team this afternoon at the hospital. Damn it, those two boys, they were bullying my short legs and ran around like they were being chased by an axe. To make it worse, I was wearing thongs and my feet almost got blisters. Conclusion of the day, I hate tall people!!!
1Reminder to those who have forgotten: the ‘hu’ in Yin Hu means fox!
2A Sailor Moon character.
Vera & Luci Translations 