Extra: Two People (Xu Xiaobo)

Xu Xiabo’s friends all liked him. He didn’t talk much but he kept his promises, was generous, and covered for all his friends.

All of them had wealth but weren’t wealthy, so in other words, they could have afforded the thirty thousand USD BMW Brilliance, but buying the one hundred and fifty thousand or so BMW X5 would be difficult to say the least. However, since they weren’t in a high-consumption city like Beijing or Shanghai, between drinking and gambling and all other worldly things, they pulled nothing back.

Xu Xiaobo however was a little different from them. He didn’t keep women, he didn’t gamble, he didn’t do drugs, didn’t keep wine… Well, he did have hobbies. He loved reading, and it was said that his home was filled with shelves after shelves of books, but this hobby didn’t cost any money, and it sure was a weird hobby. Even university professors were busy trying to make money nowadays, who had time to read? Especially someone like him who hadn’t even graduated from high school.

It was often when they had arrived at the climax of their night and the women around them were relaxed that Xu Xiaobo would get up and leave.

At first, no one could understand him. Many couldn’t stand him but after a while, after understanding Xiao Bo’s character, they would start to think that he was a nice person and try to introduce their cousins to him, but Xiao Bo would always smile and refuse.

Everyone was baffled. Just what type of woman did Xu Xiaobo want?

Xu Xiaobo also asked himself this question. Just what kind of woman did he want to spend the rest of his life with?

It wasn’t difficult if it was just finding a virtuous woman to create a family with, like Li-ge, but he held higher expectations deep in his heart.

Under Li-ge, he had been in a few relationships, all of which were quite pleasant,but he always felt that there was something missing.

Li-ge asked him, “What was missing?”

Xiao Bo couldn’t answer.

Li-ge shook his head and sighed. “Did you unconsciously compare them with Qiqi? You’ve known Qiqi since you were kids and your personalities weren’t set back then so you two influenced each other as you grew up, giving the two of you a greater understanding of each other. If that was what you wanted, then it’s definitely going to be missing.”

Xiao Bo was a little annoyed and didn’t try hiding it. “What are you saying? Not only has Qiqi already been gone for such a long time, but even when she was here, I’ve always only seen her as a little sister.”

Li-ge said nothing.

Was Qiqi even ten when she first met Xiao Bo? That was the time when girls would start developing their own personalities, and Qiqi had always been so trusting and reliant towards Xiao Bo, so everything about her was practically influenced by Xiao Bo until she had become exactly whom he had wanted to become. Even their final separation had only forced her to grow. To exaggerate, Xiao Bo raised and grew that girl to his own desires, it was merely that he had never realized.

In the end, Qiqi became the person that Xiao Bo wanted her to become- self-loving, motivated, intelligent and confident, reasonable and honest, strong and gentle. Underneath all of those beautiful traits, she hid her stubbornness and extreme mindset, and maybe even self-hate and ruthlessness, the exact things that Xiao Bo had hidden in his own heart.

Li-ge stood up and patted Xiao Bo on the shoulder. “Your sister-in-law is bringing our son to her family tonight, so I’ll regain my single status. Let’s go get Wu Zei and play pool.”

(Basically Li-Ge’s wife is taking their son back to her original family for some gathering)

Xiao Bo was just about to call him when the phone rang.

“Li-ge and I were just talking about you. We were saying that we should go pooling tonight. Do you want to take sick leave with the Enchantress?”

“No it’s fine, I’m with her right now at ‘By the Waterside’. Hurry up and get here, I have good news… No, a huge surprise for you.”

Xiao Bo laughed. “What kind of surprise?”

“You’ll know when you get there, hurry up!”

Xiao Bo hung up, got into the car with Li-ge and bought a carton of beer on the way as well.

When they arrived at ‘By the Waterside’, the shop was already closed. The Enchantress and Wu Zei were sitting inside, talking. 

Li-ge placed down the beer and smiled at the Enchantress. “Call some kebabs for us. We’ll eat as we play.”

She agreed but didn’t move, grinning at Xiao Bo.

Xiao Bo looked at Wu Zei. “Your expression is giving me goosebumps.”

“Who’s asking, me or you?” Wu Zei asked her.

“You do it!” 

Then, just as Wu Zei opened his mouth, the Enchantress said again, “Nevermind, I’ll do it! Xiao Bo, sit down first.”

Xiao Bo put on a show of being careful, perching on the edge of the sofa, his face downcast. “Sis, tell me!”

Seeing them like this, Li-ge’s curiosity was also roused, and he sat down to the side.

The Enchantress held a piece of paper in her hands, constantly folding and unfolding it. “An old friend came to the shop today. Take a guess at who it was.”

Xiao Bo smiled and started guessing. From Zhang San to Li Si to the pockmarked Wang Er, Enchantress always just smiled and shook her head.

(These are just the names of three extremely irrelevant side characters from Legend of the Condor Heroes)

Seeing how Wu Zei and the Enchantress were acting, Li-ge looked up in shock. If it were an old friend and everyone else knew them, then he should know them as well, but Wu Zei and Enchantress didn’t care about his reaction, meaning that this old friend was closer to Xiao Bo than himself, and it was someone that Xiao Bo cared about. Xiao Bo was horribly strict on himself, always keeping up a warm face despite his cold heart. Even though it might have looked as if he was friends with everyone, he was extremely choosy when it came to making actual friends, and there weren’t many people who could tug on his heart.

Li-ge stepped on Wu Zei underneath the table and asked him a silent question with his eyes. Wu Zei nodded lightly.

Their movements were small, but Xiao Bo had always been sensitive to the people around him. In that little while, what Li-ge had been able to think of, he had also thought of.

He was smiling but he could no longer speak. The name was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t utter it. Maybe it was because he cared so much that he couldn’t even trust his own judgement in fear that it was wrong.

The room fell into silence.

Ten years ago, when they were still bright youths, Li-ge, Wu Zei, Xiao Bo, the Enchantress, and Qiqi were like a little family. They played together, laughed together, got into trouble together, and took responsibility together. They cared for each other and looked after each other, but ever since Wu Zei got into prison, they had never been able to reunite and someone had always been missing. In their most difficult time, only Li-ge and Xiao Bo had been left.

After Wu Zei got out of prison and after many struggles and difficulties, he had found the Enchantress and taken her back. They were united again. Even though they were missing a Qiqi, it hadn’t been that much of a big deal, after all, life would always get better. They rarely mentioned her, just as they rarely looked back on their past.

That night though, Qiqi’s name was like a spell, reawakening everything that they thought they had forgotten.

There was laughter and willfulness, the difficulties and bitterness of all those years.

Between Qiqi’s departure and her return, ten years of time had swung by like a shadow. Falls and returns though, failures and successes, separations, reunions, bitterness, sweetness, they had experienced them all.

The Enchantress silently slid the paper to Xiao Bo. “Qiqi gave you this.” When her hand became empty, the first thing she did was reach for Wu Zei’s, which held hers tightly the instant they met each other.

Life was like driving a boat on a river, sometimes it was calm and they could watch as the shores went past, and sometimes it was filled with winds and storms, forcing them to fight, and in extreme situations, letting go, to save both themselves and others.

After a big wave could be the final farewell. When the river calmed again, the ship would still sail, and they could only wipe away the tears for those who had departed and move on, welcoming new scenery and new people, and keep smiling.

Few in this world were brave enough to jump into the current to search for the lost. Who knew where they had been rushed to? Who knew if they had started a new life? They can only keep their past in the depths of their heart and keep going. There was no right or wrong, it was simply life.

Though how happy it would be if they never needed to let go, and they could walk together forever!

The Enchantress looked at Wu Zei, tears glimmering in her eyes, her heart filled with words that she would never say aloud. “Thank you. Thank you for not letting go. If you didn’t hold on so dumbly, then we wouldn’t be holding hands today.”

Xiao Bo took the paper slip but kept it closed. He smiled and asked, “How is she now?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t see her, she gave the paper slip to the shop assistant for the Enchantress to give to you,” Wu Zei replied.

The Enchantress thought a little and said, “I think I saw her.”

Xiao Bo smiled in silence, his eyes not looking at Enchantress, but downwards at the folded paper in his hands.

“I was on the phone with one of my friends and I didn’t enter in case one of the customers would think I was too noisy. As I was calling, I saw a woman staring at me. I thought she looked familiar, but I was busy talking so I didn’t pay much attention,” she said.

“How stupid can you be? No reaction, even though you were being stared at?!” Wu Zei asked.

“Hmph!” She flipped her hair and smiled amorously. “People always stare at me when I’m walking on the streets. Am I supposed to be curious about all of them?”

Li-ge hid his smile but Wu Zei bursted out laughing.

The Enchantress glared at them then said to Xiao Bo, “I didn’t pay too much attention but I still have the basic image. She looked like she was faring well, and she’s prettier than before- she’s not that basic Qiqi anymore, otherwise I would’ve recognized her. Didn’t she promise to meet tomorrow? Go ahead!”

Xiao Bo stared at her dumbly and the Enchantress pointed at the paper slip.

Xiao Bo finally opened it.

A beautiful little book store from a childhood dream. The dreamer had already forgotten it, but turning around, it had come true. 

Xiao Bo, tomorrow by the river, I’ll be waiting. ——Qiqi

I said I’ll be waiting!

Xiao Bo suddenly felt his heart speeding up. Even though he hadn’t drank, he felt that feeling of dizziness after a light glass.

Li-ge didn’t try to act the gentleman in front of Xiao Bo. He snuck up close to him, read through the whole thing with relish and grinned. “Nice, our Qiqi has really grown up, such daring! Comrade Bo, we will now give you the mission of bringing Qiqi back home!”

The Enchantress started excitedly, “I’ll give you permission to meet her by yourself tomorrow, but after that we’re going together. We’ll go to karaoke and then go dancing, let’s see if she’s forgotten what we taught her.”

“And cards! I’ll team up with Li-ge and you can be on the same team as Qiqi like before. We’ll see who’s the winner this time.”

Everyone laughed heartily. Maybe none of them had ever achieved anything great, but to be able to beat the cruelty of life, to always be together, that was the biggest miracle there could have been!

Xiao Bo however only smiled. Li-ge nudged Wu Zei and the two stood up and walked over to the pool table. The Enchantress followed them and they each held a can of beer, talking in a low voice.

Wu Zei glanced at Xiao Bo who was sitting alone underneath the light. “I thought Xiao Bo would be the happiest out of all of us now that Qiqi’s back, but it looks like he’s not happy at all. He looks even more troubled than before.”

The Enchantress scowled at him. “Don’t say anything if you don’t understand it.”

Li-ge hit the billiard and muttered, “The problem with people of Xiao Bo’s upbringing is coming up again. He hasn’t even done anything and he’s already thinking of all the ways it could go badly, what with the not-meeting-is-better-than-meeting, memories are beautiful, reality is cruel. If it were up to me, I would think it would be better if you were less educated. How many philosophers are happy? They all thought too much and did too little!”

“What do you mean? Not meeting? Not meeting what? He’s not going to go see Qiqi? How could he do that? It would have been so difficult getting here from America.” Wu Zei said, alarmed.

(*Luci: Indeed. Plane tickets expensive. How did she get from ‘Murica to China, what happened to lockdown)

The Enchantress thought about it and understood what Li-ge meant. She glanced over at Wu Zei then said to Li-ge, “They’re both too smart, So much that they have to think everything through! If they were dumb like my Wu Zei, who cares the consequences, he’d come up and ask, and if you didn’t agree he’d stun you and take you home anyways.”

Li-ge chuckled. “Yeah. The dumb ones have their own luck.”

Wu Zei rubbed his head, looked towards his wife, then his da-ge*. “That doesn’t sound like a compliment, but at the same time it does…”

(*big brother, but can be used affectionately rather than familially)

Enchantress held back her laugh. “We’re complimenting you!”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t Xiao Bo go see Qiqi?” Wu Zei asked.

“If Xiao Bo was like us, then he would go. If he discovered that he wasn’t like us, then the things he needed to consider would increase, like if Qiqi married, if she had a boyfriend, if he deserved her, is there was chance for him, how large that chance would be, if he would hurt her…” replied the Enchantress.

Wu Zei became confused. “Wouldn’t he go ask? He’d know if he asked! What’s the point of thinking about it himself?”

Enchantress looked at Li-ge in exasperation. Li-ge laughed and patted Wu Zei on the back. “Just go play pool, don’t think too much about it.”

Xiao Bo walked over. “What are you guys talking about?”

“You! Hurry up and get a stick,” Li-ge replied.

Xiao Bo grabbed a cue stick, watched the ongoing match, and waited for the next round to start. 

The Enchantress looked at them, smiled, and left to buy kebabs.

The three brothers played pool for the entire night, and drank an entire carton of beer plus another three bottles of white wine. Li-ge deliberately got Xiao Bo drunk.

When Xiao Bo woke up the next day, it was already four in the afternoon. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he rushed to the shower, scolding himself as he did so.

After, he saw Li-ge sitting in the living room, stretching. “I haven’t eaten for the whole day. Let’s go eat dinner.”

Xiao Bo glanced at the clock on the wall and said nothing.

Li-ge completely ignored his expression and pushed Xiao Bo outside whilst cheerfully calling Wu Zei and Enchantress for dinner.

A long journey later, the four met up in a restaurant, the Enchantress also bringing her kid along.

Xiao Bo had always been good with kids because of how patient he was. The instant the little thing saw him, she started climbing up his body. Xiao Bo could only force himself to brighten up and play with her.

That meal was filled with tiny misfortunes. First the plate broke, then the chopsticks fell, then the kid started crying. Xiao Bo kept patient at first, his eyes constantly looking towards the watch on his wrist. Afterwards, his heart started to cool as he resigned himself to fate. It was like a person trying to row upstream in a swift current, tired and battered, only to realise that the oar in his hands was too thin to battle the currents and slowly, started to give up. Let the stream carry him wherever!

After dinner, when the four walked out of the restaurant, it was already eight.

The sky darkened late and the sun had yet to set, the sky a warm blue with slivers of clouds here and there, like some goldfish swimming in the sky.

Enchantress held her kid and looked up at the sky. The child was tired from too much playing and was sleeping on her shoulder.

Wu Zei covered the child in a little jacket and looked at Xiao Bo, as if wanting to say something. Li-ge waved at him and ordered, “Wu Zei, go home with the Enchantress first. I’ll take Xiao Bo.”

Li-ge drove intently and Xiao Bo looked ahead, his eyes not focusing.

The two brothers sat next to each other, silent.

When Xiao Bo had finally realized what was happening, Li-ge had already driven the car to the river. He stopped the car next to the bank and Xiao Bo looked at him in confusion. “Aren’t we going home?”

Li-ge pulled open the car door. “Get down!” His expression was stern, filled with the dignity of when he was still boss.

Xiao Bo got off silently. Li-Ge led him along the bank and they walked along slowly.

When they had arrived at an open space, Li-ge passed a cigarette to Xiao Bo. The two leaned against the railing, looked towards the river, and smoked.

“Xiao Bo, I deliberately got you drunk last night. You’re an amazing person, but you’re too sensitive. I don’t want you to keep thinking about this.”

“I know.” Xiao Bo’s expression was calm.

“Tell me honestly, just what are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. I never really thought about it.”

“Then start now from the beginning.”

Xiao Bo exhaled and replied after a moment of silence, “I really did think of her as a sister back then, or at least another version of me.”

“And now?”

“These years, I didn’t think about her often, but on my happiest and lowest days, I would always be reminded of the days in which we were together. We would sit together and read in a room, not saying anything, but we could see each other whenever we looked up, and it was comforting. And the times we would ride our bikes and go search for street food in the small avenues. We were both stingy and we counted each candy we bought, but we were so happy. She liked listening to old songs from Shanghai and she would always drag me to listen with her, so much that even I started to grow a liking to them.”

The gates of memory opened, and the past quietly flew back to him. “Once, I was helping my mother with flipping gloves at home, and she came to find me. Even though it was so hot and humid there, she kept helping me, and after we came out, I said I would treat her to an ice block and that she could choose whichever. She pretended to be so picky but she ended up picking the cheapest one, saying that she just wanted it. I still remembered every time our grades were released during high school, she would go see the ranks, and once, a corner was ripped so she couldn’t see my rank, so she counted them up one by one to calculate mine. 

I saw her and patted her head and asked what she was doing, and she turned around and just kept smiling dumbly. You said she was stupid though, and back then, I was always thinking about how I would go to university in the future and break off from you all, so I didn’t want to owe any favors to you, but she would always remind me not to since it would heart you…”

As he spoke, his voice grew fainter until it stopped completely as he stared at the glimmering river.

Li-ge didn’t say anything and allowed him to think it through himself.

A long time later, Xiao Bo said in a soft voice, “I think you’re right. These years, I’ve always unconsciously compared every woman with her. I was always looking for that sense of comfort despite silence, that positive laughter despite lacking wealth, the ability to see each other at first glance in a crowd, and the knowledge that they would never leave me behind no matter what might happen.” Xiao Bo looked up and stared at a cloud just barely touching the crown of a tree. 

“If I had never possessed those feelings before, I would probably have married long ago, but because I did, that I knew those feelings truly exist, now, I’m unwilling to compromise.”

Back then, Xiao Bo had been faced with too much pressure and a completely dark future, it was well enough for him to survive. He didn’t have time to think about matters like love, yet when he finally started contemplating it, he realized that love had already visited his life. It was then that he could see as well that it was a love long lost.

Li-ge took in a heavy breath of smoke. “Qiqi is very good, but the two of you are already an entire world apart. She’s a graduate of Tsinghua, she’s drunk the Western inks, and what are you? You don’t even have a high school graduation certificate! It’s not just a statement of education, it also represents a person’s experience, visions, social status, and friendship circles.

XIao Bo looked down at his hands and said nothing.

“You two understood each other before, but that was only because you lived in the same world. With what will you understand her now? Will you listen to English songs with her? How would she introduce you when she takes you to meet her friends? A man who hadn’t even graduated high school? How would her friends see her? We aren’t kids anymore, we know that people live only in the eyes of others,” Li-Ge said.

Li-ge slapped Xiao Bo’s shoulder. “This is a realist’s world and you’ve always been logical. You should know that there’ll be no chances between the two of you!”  Li-ge held the cigarette butt, took one last breath in, and threw it onto the ground. “No matter how many people you ask, they’ll all tell you to stop dreaming.”

Xiao Bo looked up and smiled. “I know. I never thought about it. Da-ge, let’s go back!”

Li-ge stepped heavily onto the cigarette butt and crushed it. He suddenly punched Xiao Bo twice, sending him tumbling back a few steps.

Li-Ge pointed at him and yelled, “What the fuck do you know? Do you know how many fucking people have told me that you’re too shrewd and that I should be aware of you? I never trusted them, I only trusted you! When Wu Zei first came out of prison, even we tried to tell him to stop thinking about the Enchantress, that she was living just fine, but he didn’t care and insisted on looking for her! And guess what happened? You saw as well! Our brother, who had been to prison, married a hardworking and smart beauty! How many people’s jaws dropped do you think? All these years, how many people have asked you to leave me and start out on your own? But why didn’t you do anything? It’s so obviously the better path, so why the fuck did you not do anything?”

Xiao Bo didn’t say anything.

Li-ge shouted, “Xu Xiaobo, have you been living so many peaceful days that you’ve forgotten who you are? We are people of the streets! We are the delinquents who would dare to do everything! You’re not some fucking upstanding civilian! Have you forgotten that the only reason you were able to survive was to live better than everyone else? You have nothing apart from your courage to try. Those logics and rules made up by society aren’t set up for people like us, if we followed those rules, people like us would have died a long fucking time ago! Who the fuck ordered that high school dropouts couldn’t marry a doctor? Who the fuck ordered that men from small cities couldn’t marry girls from big cities? Who the fuck decided that we aren’t as good as those elites? Who the fuck decided who is better than who? We fought our battles with our own blood, sweat and tears! And I am fucking proud of myself, and you should be as well! Luo Qiqi’s not a fucking princess, and even if she was, you deserve her!”

Xiao Bo stared, dazed, at Li-ge, his expression complicated.

“Hurry up and fuck off over to her! I don’t care if she’s married or if she’s got a boyfriend, you still need to say what you need to say and do what you need to do. No matter what the results are, at least you’ve tried and you’ll have no regrets. Be a man and face it, the road in front of you is still long, your good days are still plenty, and there are plenty of good women out there!”

Li-ge ran his hands through his hair, took in a few deep breaths, and finally calmed down.

Xiao Bo subconsciously looked towards the sky. The sun had already set, the brilliant sunset giving out its last lights.

An entire day had passed, would Qiqi still be waiting?

Li-ge also looked towards the sky and said gently, “I dragged you away until now on purpose. If all those years of companionship couldn’t give back one day of waiting, then there would be no point in meeting again. If she’s still the Qiqi from our memories, she’d still be waiting for you until she saw you again. It doesn’t matter what you’re thinking of right now and what the future will be, was an entire day of waiting not enough for you to go see her?”

“Da-ge…” Xiao Bo started, but his voice was cut short.

Li-ge glared at him and made a move to kick him. “Still not going? Do I have to kick you over?”

XIao Bo dodged, nodded at him, and jogged along the riverside.

Li-ge watched as Xiao Bo’s silhouette vanished in the dusk.

He lit another cigarette and slumped over the railings, feeling the wind in his face as he smoked, smiling.

The sky was slowly peeling away it’s brilliant red clothing, returning to darkness, and tomorrow was another day.

No one knew what tomorrow would be, would it be full of clouds or filled with sun? But that wasn’t important. What was important was that after tomorrow, there would be another tomorrow, and long as life continued, there would always be another tomorrow. The perpetual hope towards the next moment was the happiness that we all wished for.

The thing lighting up life wasn’t the scenery of tomorrow, but rather the beauty of hope.

We carried hope and walked forwards bravely, climbing up as we fell, trying hard as we failed, always believing in a better tomorrow, that no matter how ordinary we were, we would be in control of our own happiness.

That was the most splendid scenery of this ordinary life.

(End)

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Luci: ANnnnd it’s done! Thanks to everyone that stuck with us through the whole thing and special shoutout to Stileshun you have no idea how much those likes mean to us :DDDD

I’ll see you guys in the next book 😀

And because Vera isn’t judgemental and specific like that, she would like to thank everyone who read this, regardless of if you liked or commented. I’m glad that we could finish off this book for everyone who spent so long waiting for those final few chapters.

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