Extra: Two People (Xiao Bo)

Ever since they were children, Xu Xiaobo and Luo Qiqi would always be on the same team when playing cards; and when they went out to play, Qiqi would only be willing to sit on Xiao Bo’s broken bicycle; and at restaurants, she would always dominant the seat next to him, not giving it up to anyone; and they would watch recordings together on the couch, Xiao Bo making Qiqi watch《The Smiling Proud Wanderer》 by Jet Li, and Qiqi dragging Xiao Bo to watch《Roman Holidays》 by Audrey Hepburn; they both loved reading and they would often sit with one lying on the couch, the other before the desk, immersed in their own novels and occasionally looking up at each other, sometimes without the other noticing, sometimes their eyes meeting and each smiling at each other before continuing on…

Xu Xiaobo knew that there was something different between him and his friends, and he knew that Qiqi was a little different as well. It was that tiny difference that made them so close and understanding of each other, and what made him believe they were family.

Until that day.

He had come back from outside of the city and had gone to Qiqi’s school to pick her up when he saw her walk out of the gates laughing with her friends.

The Literary Performance had just ended and the gates were crowded with people. Qiqi was walking hand in hand with a pretty girl in the middle of her group. They talked and grinned, constantly pushing at each other. Someone said something and the entire group bursted out in laughter.

The lights outside the gates were bright, reflecting their own nature. It wasn’t a very special image, in fact, it was one that appeared everyday in school.

It was something that he had never been able to get, no matter how hard he chased after it.

That spirit and energy could never have belonged to him. For the first time, he realized that maybe, Qiqi wasn’t the same blood as him.

He had waited for half the night already to meet her but now, he was hesitating. He didn’t want to drag her away from her schoolmates, his world didn’t possess any of what they had.

Qiqi’s face was bright as she talked, her expression a cheek that could be seen by everyone, with nary a shred of darkness nor bitterness. 

The gates behind her back stood solemn and stern under the lamplight like a knight made up of society itself, a guardian in shining armor protecting their bright smiles.

He stared at the gates, a deep bitterness rising up in his heart. For others, that door led to hell, yet even though he was more than willing to walk into it, it was hidden from him.

Qiqi suddenly turned a little, her eyes sweeping across the road. Before he had time to move away, her face brightened and she ran across it.

In that moment, he felt an unspeakable joy, the bitterness in his heart vanishing as if the person flying across the road was hope itself.

He controlled his happiness, fearing that if it was too obvious, the heavens would see it and take it back. He had known a long time ago that he was never someone blessed by the gods.

Qiqi asked him, “How long have you been waiting here? Why didn’t you call me?”

He smiled. “I just came here and saw you guys walking out.”

Her friends followed her over, a small horde of eyes looking over him as if they could sense that he wasn’t one of them.

“Qiqi, hurry up. Let’s go eat malatang,” they called out.

On one side was him, and on the other side were her friends. Qiqi stood in the centre, hesitating, unsure of which to pick.

Xiao Bo looked at that group of bright-eyed youths and made the decision for her. “Qiqi, go with your friends.” He smiled and left.

Under the dim light, Xiao Bo walked alone.

He knew Qiqi was walking the opposite direction as him, but that was the bright path blessed by the masses. It was for the better!

Footsteps suddenly sounded behind him. His heart skipped a beat and before he could turn around, Qiqi had jumped to his side and clung to his elbows, a bright smile on her face.

In that moment, he was deeply moved and felt a joy that stretched as far as his soul.

“Aren’t you going to eat malatang?” he asked.

“I prefer lamb skewers.” Qiqi announced his importance in her heart and firmly told him her choice.

In his joy, he didn’t think too deeply about Qiqi’s decision- or rather, at that moment, he was still holding onto the dream that he could achieve his dream, that he and Qiqi were still family.

But even the last illusions broke.

He had to take on the responsibilities that he was supposed to bear and he couldn’t leave them to others because of his desires. Men could not live for themselves, so he decided to shatter it.

He knew very well that he would gradually become the same as the people around him and slowly forget that he had once possessed a dream. He would no longer possess that little difference, but Qiqi still had it.

He would smoke during countless nights and within the mist, he would reminisce about the bits and pieces after their first meeting. Six years. He had practically watched her grow up. They had so many happy memories and he truly believed that Qiqi had also been happy, but every time, he would be reminded of her expression that night outside the school gates.

All those years, he had always thought that he was the one caring for and accompanying that little girl but now, he had suddenly realized that it had always been the other way around.

Li-ge laughed at him, saying that he was protecting Qiqi like a miser, refusing to let anyone touch her. He too had believed that he was protecting Qiqi as a big brother, only now had he realized that he wasn’t only protecting Qiqi, but also that tiny bit of light hidden in the darkest corner of his heart.

If he was able to see her whenever he looked up, then no matter what he saw looking down, he would firmly believe in a better tomorrow.

He had always thought that Qiqi needed his protection, but it was only that little light in his heart struggling to keep itself from drowning. It was that light that needed protection.

Qiqi didn’t need his shelter, even if he wasn’t there, Qiqi would be able to quickly find new friends and start a new life.

All those years, maybe it had only been him being selfish, dragging her and keeping her in their world, crushing her chances of making new friends before they ever appeared.

Now, would he still drag her down to become one of the same?

He knew her personality very well and he knew that as long as he was there, Qiqi would never leave him, but he also knew that she was intelligent, and that as long as her mind was used well, she would become a burningly bright star.

She had yet to know what she really wanted to become, so even if she had stayed in their world, she wouldn’t understand what she had missed out on, or be given a chance to regret what she had left behind.

But he knew!

And so, he chose then- to cut ties with Luo Qiqi.

He knew that she was sad, but he was even more so because he wasn’t only carrying his own sorrow, but hers.

He knew that underneath the burning sun, she had sat smoking by the river for the entire day, burning away packets and packets, but he also knew that she would never let decadence become the norm of her life. Without even asking how, he just knew, just like how he knew that he would never bow down to the heavens, and no matter what life threw at him, that he would survive and win.

Qiqi walked into high school, retracted all her rebelliousness, and started to become a good student.

During that time, he was extremely tired.

Li-ge had been too rash in his attempts to succeed, resulting in weak and unsteady foundations. During the good days, everything had appeared fine and smooth, but the instant something had happened, the cash flow had stopped, followed by one trouble after another, and the entire business fell down like a stack of dominos. All of the other businesses became loans to others, leaving them with only the karaoke and the night club.

In trying to help Wu Zei and Xiao Bo though, Li-ge gave the night club away as well as a pledge to loan sharks to get cash for the lawsuits and smooth down relationships, and for cash to give to the prison bosses to ask them to take care of Wu Zei.

The karaoke bar was still functioning as usual, but the effect of the case and the fierce competitions had taken away most of its business- the daily income wasn’t even enough to pay the loan sharks. What was even more terrifying than their enemies were those ‘good friends’ all watching from the sidelines, waiting for an opportunity to bite into their weak spot and split the spoils.

Sometimes, he became scared, scared that they wouldn’t be able to make it and Li-ge would be chased by debt collectors, scared that without outside help, even if Wu Zei didn’t get hurt physically, he would end up with mental problems, scared that no matter what they did, they would no longer have a tomorrow.

But… he couldn’t let anyone know that he was scared, otherwise everyone would come snarling at them. He couldn’t let Li-ge know that he was scared either. Li-ge was only able to smile at everything because he believed in him, but he was terrified to the point that it was impossible for him to get a good night’s sleep, to the point that he would constantly be woken up by endless nightmares, and then the next morning, he would have to put on a smile and face everyone with confidence and use nonchalance to hide his fears.

Sometimes when he couldn’t bear anything anymore, he would go to the little forest next to the river, sit in the depths of a small flower bed, smoke, and rest. It was only then that he would let his back relax, let his smile vanish.

At around ten, Qiqi would carry her bag and stride past the little path outside the forest. Sometimes, she would be deep in thought, or muttering in English, fighting for her tomorrow, and every time he saw her, he would temporarily forget those fears and anxieties and enjoy that moment of peace.

Then one night when he went to the forest to take a break, he saw Zhang Jun.

He didn’t know what had happened, only that Zhang Jun was secretly following Qiqi. At first he had thought that Qiqi had managed to upset Zhang Jun, and for many days, he would arrive early at the forest to wait for her. Afterwards, he realized that Zhang Jun was protecting her home.

Both he and Zhang Jun were careful but somehow, Qiqi had been able to find something strange, and shouted with false confidence, “Xiao Bo, come out! I can see you!”

He couldn’t help but smile, yet afterwards, he felt bitter. Qiqi still didn’t understand that they were no longer on the same paths and would never be!

At that moment, there were three people being sorrowful.

Qiqi couldn’t hide her pained expression and as she walked, she looked around, unwilling to give up. “Xiao Bo! Xiao Bo, come out!”

Finally, she gave up and she walked back slowly, her back bent and her head lowered, as if she had lost all of her spirit.

Zhang Jun hid himself in the forest, his back against a tree and his hands in his pocket. He stared at the treetops, unmoving.

He remained in the exact same position even when Qiqi had vanished from the road. Even Xiao Bo was able to feel the loneliness and sorrow in his heart. Shocked, Xiao Bo started to realize Zhang Jun’s emotions. That boy had a pair of good eyes; he saw her goodness.

Xiao Bo stared at Zhang Jun with a hint of jealousy. 

In this circle, it was easy to fall but hard to be reborn. How lucky this boy was to be given a chance to restart and walk on the same path as Qiqi.

Zhang Jun slowly walked out of the forest with his head lowered.

Xiao Bo remained sitting, lit a cigarette, and puffed out a smoke ring. He watched as the smoke slowly dispersed, just as he had watched all his past dreams slowly die away.

The first time Qiqi’s midterm results came out, Li-ge had been shocked at how amazing his Qiqi could be.

The top twenty of First High was a rank that many people yearned for, but Xiao Bo knew that it was only the beginning for Qiqi and that she was still searching for a direction.

He stopped worrying about her and started to truly merge into his new identity, his new life.

Without realizing it, the number of times he went to the small forest decreased.

Still, whenever the pressure became too big, or whenever he was reminded of Wu Zei, he would go back and silently sit in the shadows, smoking away.

Qiqi found a new friend, a sunny looking boy.

She looked like she too had truly merged into her new life and was chatting excitedly with the boy next to her about the Literary Performance. Name after name jumped out of her mouth and she assigned a role to each one of them as the boy next to her looked at her with admiration.

Qiqi became more and more like a normal good student, studying hard, caring about her classes, actively participating in group activities, and getting along with her classmates, surrounded by good friends. Maybe she would secretly crush on a certain boy, and maybe a few boys would crush on her.

He was happy, really happy.

Seeing her trying hard and taking initiative, he suddenly felt a bit ashamed. He was also trying, but there was no initiative from him.

There was already no choice in the type of life he could live, but there was always the option of how he would treat that life. Did he lose all his courage already?

He thought, eyes lidded, for a while, and crushed out his unfinished cigarette. 

The harder it was, the more he needed to love himself. That was something he had once told Qiqi, but he himself had forgotten.

Ever since the incident with Wu Zei, Xiao Bo had started smoking and drinking vigorously and would often go out gambling and car racing during nights. Li-ge didn’t try to talk him out of it and pretended that he saw nothing. They had known each other for so long and he knew that Xiao Bo wasn’t the type to indulge.

He was only nineteen, others of the same age were still living under the care of their parents, enjoying life, but he had to live exhausted, bent down, and begging for life. If there was no way for him to relieve himself, he might become crushed by his burdens.

After a while, Xiao Bo gradually became normal again, stopped his excessive drinking, and stopped car racing. 

Song Peng asked in fascination, “Xiao Bo, what shocked you into changing? Why have you stopped drinking and smoking? Did you find yourself a strict girlfriend?”

Xiao Bo grinned. “It’s exactly because I don’t have a girlfriend that I want to treat myself better.”

Everyone laughed, not believing him. Li-ge smiled at Xiao Bo. This was the Xiao Bo he knew! Everything would be fine again!

Somehow, Xiao Bo managed to get through Song Jie, who became his assurance. Xiao Bo begged for a penny here and there and opened a roller skating rink. No one else knew why the always so shrewd Song Jie started doing unprofitable businesses, but Li-ge wasn’t surprised. Song Jie wasn’t a normal person, he knew how to look at people and see them, and he knew that if he helped Xiao Bo now, he would get Xiao Bo’s thanks in return for a lifetime. His investment wasn’t in the business, but rather Xiao Bo as a person. 

Xiao Bei appreciated the chance that Song Jie gave him immensely and placed everything on it. To reduce renovation costs, he hired farmhands. China’s farmhands were the most honest, but most treacherous people. Their psychology was simple, all the city folk were well-educated, and under the money they were being paid, they would earn it with the least amount of work they tried to do. Whether the hirer shouted at them or acted courteously, they would abide by their honest ‘faith’ through it all.

After a few days of watching over the construction site, Xiao Bo understood that and moved his bedding over. He lived with them, ate with them, woke earlier than them, and stayed behind the latest. He didn’t refuse any hard labor, and when his hands were scraped open from glass, he said nothing and continued working on digging up a drain system the next day, growing blisters on blisters. Apart from giving out orders, he didn’t say a word of nonsense, only working in earnest. The honest side of the farmers was revitalized and they finally started working with all their might, they even tried to persuade Xiao Bo into taking a break and followed any order from Xiao Bo immediately.

The skating rink finished its renovations before the days truly became hot, and its business bursted with the instant it opened. Li-ge knew that they had finally endured past the worst days and survived. This wasn’t just the success of a skating rink, Song Jie had seen everything from the sidelines with cold eyes. They were finally able to find an able partner with connections in this world of wolves.

Xiao Bo placed all his thoughts on the skating rink and stayed there everyday, thinking up infinite ways of attracting customers. The profit of the rink rose day by day.

When the summer holidays came, the business became even better, especially at night. Sometimes they even had to limit the tickets sold. 

On the day that Qiqi had sent her gifts over, Li-ge had also been at the skating rink. The karaoke bar called, saying that someone had left a letter for Xiao Bo.

Xiao Bo was busy right now so Li-ge had ordered, “Tell someone to bring it over.”

Then he had become immersed in his work and had forgotten about it.

During dinner, the two brothers were eating takeaway in their office whilst chatting when Xiao Bo suddenly saw the letter on the table and picked it up. “What’s this?”

“Oh yeah, some letter for you.”

Xiao Bo laughed. “Round and hard, is this a grenade?” He opened the letter, shook it, and from it fell a pine cone and a rock.

Li-ge laughed. “What is this?”

Xiao Bo stopped laughing though, his eyes deep in thought. He shook the envelope again and a small paper slip fell out. Li-ge had no care for privacy and got up close to read it. There was no name or signature, just a single sentence.

“A pinecone from underneath the Great Wall, and a rock from Mt Lao.”

He was even more perplexed. “Just what is this?”

Xiao Bo picked up the pine cone and rock and placed it back into the envelope before continuing eating as if he didn’t care at all. “It’s a gift from Qiqi.”

“How did you know?”

“I heard from Song Peng that she was chosen to attend the summer camp. They went to Beijing and Qingdao.”

“Then what was she trying to say with this? That she had gone to the Great Wall and Mt. Lao?”

Xiao Bo didn’t say something and buried himself in food, his expression unclear. After a while, he said lightly, “She probably also kept a pine cone and a rock, so that way it’s like we’re still sharing everything, just like before when we would watch recordings and listen to songs together.”

Li-ge couldn’t say anything. He ate dinner in silence for a while, then suddenly said, “You should try the Gaokao again!”

Xiao Bo looked up at Li-ge, his face expressionless and said to him very gently, “Fuck you too.”

Li-ge knew that he was truly angry this time and didn’t continue the topic. “Sorry, sorry. Let’s eat!”

Song Peng was younger than Song Jie by thirteen years, almost an entire generation apart, and they had completely different personalities as well, making it almost impossible to see that they were actually brothers.

Song Peng was rash and he knew that he had the background to act like that. He would always go around saying “What’s the point of being young if you can’t indulge yourself?” but in front of Xiao Bo’s gentle and calming nature, he retracted his arrogance and was able to go along fairly well with him.

These days, Song Peng became obsessed with controlling the spotlights and loved picking out his targets as he leaned on the window. The people getting the spotlight were happy, and Song Peng was even happier.

Xiao Bo sat reading a newspaper on the sofa and chatted mindlessly with him.

Noticing something, Song Peng didn’t reply for a long time and stared intently down the window. “Xiao Bo, do you have binoculars?”

Xiao Bo pointed at the drawers. Song Peng picked up the binoculars and peeped down, grinning pervertedly as he did so.

“What are you looking at?”

“Friends. I think I’ve discovered some suspicious relationships between a few people.”

Xiao Bo chuckled, didn’t pay much attention to it, and continued flipping through his newspaper.

After Xiao Bo had gone through the newspaper, Song Peng was still watching them with relish. Xiao Bo stood up, stretched his back, and looked down the window.

Song Peng cackled, placed down the binoculars and went to control the spotlight.

Xiao Bo used the window as a mirror and stretched when he suddenly saw a familiar person underneath the spotlights – Qiqi.

Qiqi was skating with a stranger. Suddenly shone down upon with the spotlight, she almost fell from shock, but the man next to her was able to react fast enough and caught her. Qiqi was obvious annoyed and hurriedly moved to the sides to avoid the light but Song Peng continued chasing after her with the light, a sly grin on his face.

Even though Xiao Bo couldn’t see clearly, he was able to imagine the impatience in Qiqi’s eyes. He smiled at Song Peng and said, “Stop mucking around. The light is only for those who are good at skating, if you break the rules now, it’ll make management difficult later.”

Song Peng was disappointed. “I’ll let her go this time.” He moved the spotlight away and searched for a new target.

Xiao Bo picked up the binoculars and watched as Qiqi skated to one of the corners, taking a break by the railings. Zhang Jun stormed over to her, said something and left, still angry.

Qiqi watched the skating rink silently. Probably thinking that there was no one who knew her around her, her mask became a little loose, her expression a little melancholy.

Xiao Bo was puzzled. Didn’t she just go to Beijing and QIngdao? She should be happy right now.

He moved his eyes away from the binoculars and looked at the skating rink.

The spotlight was now on a pair of youths who skated very well, the light outlining their lovely bodies – Zhang Jun and a pretty female partner skating.

Xiao Bo picked up the binoculars again. Watching her, he started to understand a little where her sorrows came from.

Qiqi watched them for a while, then suddenly rushed into the rink and skated almost madly.

Xiao Bo used the binoculars and chased after her figure. He understood what she was feeling in the moment, the need to get away from all the pain and throw them behind her, but – his heart skipped a beat as he watched Qiqi fall over backwards.

Protect your head!

Qiqi didn’t do anything and fell down hard onto the concrete floor.

Everything flashed by in front of him in perfect clarity because of the binoculars. He felt as if Qiqi had fallen right in front of him and he instinctively reached out his hands to help her.

Zhang Jun skated happily with his partner underneath the spotlight, dancing with the music, oblivious to the pain Qiqi was in right now.

Qiqi lay alone on the cold concrete floor, unmoving. Through the binoculars, the pain on her face was painfully clear.

Xiao Bo pushed the binoculars away.

Song Peng was still chasing Zhang Jun around with the spotlight, and noticing the sudden movement from Xiao Bo, he turned around and asked, “What happened?”

Xiao Bo smiled. “Nothing.” He picked up the binoculars again.

A young couple stopped by Qiqi, helped her up, and sent her to the break area. Qiqi hugged her head, her shoulders slouched as she sat on a bench like a wounded animal. A long time later, she looked up, her eyes following the beam of the spotlight, sorrowful and puzzled.

Suddenly, she stood up and walked towards the exit of the roller skate rink.

Xiao Bo threw down the binoculars and said to Song Peng, “I’m going to buy some stuff.” He had just arrived at the exit when he turned back, moved the spotlight away from Zhang Jun, and searched amidst the crowds until it finally landed on a young couple. He said to a worker who was playing music, “Get someone to give them the best drinks and fruit plate here.”

Xiao Bo watched Qiqi from afar and watched as she bought an ice cream and smiled at the air, telling herself stubbornly that she needed to smile, not cry!

Slowly, she placed a smile back onto her face which turned into laughter. She was even humming, looking very joyful.

Xiao Bo felt awful. He wished to accompany her so badly, to let her cry her tears, and stop her from forcing herself to be so strong, if only.

He couldn’t though!

He could only watch her fall down by herself, climb back up by herself, force the tears back by herself, and face the world with a smile by herself.

Growing up was accompanied by pain, and strength was the layered scab that grew outside the wounds.

Qiqi hopped and skipped, walking like a happy little bird.

No matter how many difficulties she met, she will doubtlessly be able to break through them all.

He followed her, looking at her stubborn silhouette, his heart filled with sadness, comfort, and pride.

A bike brushed by him. The rider noticed Qiqi and slowed down, and when the bike had just reached her, the owner stopped the bike and waved at Qiqi. It was Chen Jin, who had just become the state rank one.

Chen Jin pushed his bike along and walked next to Qiqi.

There were no cars on the road, making it very quiet, and the wind brought their conversation directly into Xiao Bo’s ears.

“I went to see the rankings in the morning. Congratulations,” said Qiqi.

Chen Jin wasn’t very interested in discussing his own results but took a special interest in Qiqi’s. “I saw your results for last semester. Did it shock you? Are you still trying?”

Xiao Bo was a little surprised. It turned out here was another person who knew that Qiqi had barely begun her flight.

Qiqi sounded dismayed. “I’m still trying, but it’s painful. Sometimes, I don’t even know why I still am.”

“You’ll understand once you reach the mountain top, but if you give up now, you’ll never be able to understand. Don’t give up! If you’ve given up even once, you’ll become used to retreating in the face of difficulties, but if you overcome it, your life will become used to facing your battles and advancing. It seems like a simple choice, but the effects are deep.”

Xiao Bo wasn’t sure how many of those words Qiqi understood, but Xiao Bo started to feel a sudden admiration for this genius. This wasn’t just a nerd whose only talent was studying, but a true fighter of life, filled with wisdom.

Chen Jin chatted with Qiqi for a while, turned to leave on his bike, and asked Qiqi if she needed him to take her home.

Xiao Bo hoped that Qiqi would agree, but she refused.

“Bye!” Chen Jin peddled on his bike and left.

“I wish you the best of luck in University!” Qiqi shouted at Chen Jin.

Chen Jin laughed. “I’ll be waiting for you in Tsinghua!”

Xiao Bo didn’t know why, but when he heard that sentence, his steps paused suddenly. He started walking again after a long while, but he had subconsciously withdrawn himself even further into the darkness.

In the black of the night, the only source of light was the street lamps, lining the side of the pedestrian path in perfect straight rows, guiding people in their travels.

Qiqi walked underneath the lamplights. As long as she kept walking, she would definitely reach a happy and warm family, filled with light and laughter.

The world outside the lamps though was dark and gloomy and unclear, each step leading to places unknown. Even the traveler themself wouldn’t know just what each step led to.

Xiao Bo walked in the world outside the street lamps. He was brave enough to walk out his own, and confident that he would arrive at a bright destination, but he didn’t want Qiqi to take the same path as him. For her, a person like Chen Jin was a true mentor and friend; he was her true travelling partner.

One was light, one was darkness.

They would inevitably walk farther away from each other.

That night, Xu Xiaobo realized clearly for the first time that Qiqi will soon leave to a place that he would never be able to reach.

When the new semester of second grade started, Qiqi no longer walked by herself, Zhang Jun would walk her home.

Xu Xiaobo didn’t go to the flower bed in the forest for a long time, and had barely ever seen Qiqi.

He heard that Qiqi had been dating, and then that she had broken up.

A past-gangster and the number one of First High, their love was strong and stirring and everyone knew about it.

Li-ge had been angry, angry that Zhang Jun had dared to break up with Qiqi and angry that Qiqi had been foolish, dating Zhang Jun even though she knew what type of person he was.

Xiao Bo didn’t think that Zhang Jun was the one at fault. Men and women were different, a woman could love a man whilst still looking up to him, but a man could not do the same- at least, Zhang Jun would not be able to do so yet. He had tried his best but he was tired now, so he had let Qiqi go freely, and had also let himself go. 

Qiqi was definitely hurt, but she had definitely hurt Zhang Jun as well. This was the battle of growing up with no winners.

The number of times he went to the small forest increased again, and next to Qiqi walked that bright young man he had seen before.

That man tried all sorts of methods to make her laugh.

Xiao Bo couldn’t help but smile. He trusted that Qiqi would get better, because she was surrounded by friends who cared for her and loved her.

Xiao Bo felt that it was peaceful now, and settled down to wait for the Gaokao.

When the Gaokao had finished, he didn’t go out of his way to find out Qiqi’s results. He had already waited for three years, so there was no hurry for the last couple of days. He wanted to wait for the official release to see it for himself.

However, as Song Jie was receiving his brother, Song Peng’s results, he had also found out Luo Qiqi’s and said it out casually on the dinner table, “The first ranked in the province this year is a girl, Luo something…”

Song Peng followed up impatiently, “Luo Qiqi!”

Li-ge’s expression became excited and stared at Xiao Bo who appeared as if he didn’t hear anything, his expression not changing, even as he picked up the wine bottle, poured himself a glass, and drank it all in one go.

Seeing the guilt and apology in Li-ge’s eyes, Xiao Bo smiled, poured him a cup of wine, and patted his shoulders. Good brother, don’t say anything about owing each other!

Li-ge immediately picked up the wine glass and drank it all. Good brother, it’s about more than just words!

Song Jie laughed. “What riddles are you two playing at now?”

On the day the rankings were released, Li-ge placed down all the things he was currently working on and came to find Xiao Bo at noon to accompany him to see the rankings, but Xiao Bo kept himself busy, spinning from one end to another until well into the afternoon.

“Can we go now?” Li-ge asked.

“Let’s go eat first, I’m starving! The ranks are stuck there, it’s not as if they’re going to run away.”

Li-ge sighed but didn’t force him. “Then let’s eat first.”

Li-ge understood what Xiao Bo was thinking; to see her results would mean a final farewell, from then on, that little girl would fly away from their world completely. 

They went to a Sichuan restaurant and Xiao Bo ordered a Mei Cai Kou Po and a Steamed Pork with Lotus Leaf, both of which took a long time to prepare. That one dinner took two hours to finish.

When they had finished, the sky had already darkened.

Li-ge drove straight towards First High, but he had barely arrived at the school gates when Xiao Bo suddenly said, “Stop!”

Li-ge didn’t know what was going on and immediately turned the car down to the side of the road.

From the car’s windows, the school gates were just visible in the gaps between the trees.

The sun had already set and the last remnants of its light turned the world half red, half blue. The lights outside the school gates had already lit up. Two girls stood next to each other in front of the school gates, looking up at the ranking list. Qiqi was one of them.

They continued standing there, doing nothing.

A long time later, when the sky had completely darkened, the two finally started leaving and walked over along the school walls. Qiqi maintained a smile on her face and chatted with the girl next to her, but as she walked, tears suddenly started falling. The smile was still there, but her tears continued going down her face.

The girl beside her saw that Qiqi was crying and hastily drew her eyes away from her face, looking towards the distance and pretending that she saw nothing.

Qiqi walked as she cried and went past them. In the darkness, she didn’t see at all the car behind the row of willows.

Li-ge pushed Xiao Bo a little but he didn’t move, only lowering his head in search of cigarettes.

Li-ge threw a packet of cigarettes to him.

After finishing a cigarette, Xiao Bo finally pushed open the door and strode towards the ranking list.

Luo Qiqi. 

The big characters, gold powder sprinkled on top of them, were at the top of the ranking list, dazzling and beautiful.

Li-ge opened the speakers and slowly drove behind Xiao Bo. He rolled down the car windows and smoked silently.

Xiao Bo stood unmoving and stared at the red rankings.

Brother Li could only see his erect figure, he didn’t know what his expression was or what he was thinking.

A song was playing softly in the car, slowly dispersing in the summer winds.

Li-ge didn’t pay much attention at first, but he was slowly drawn into the music and went into a daze. He forgot about his cigarette and let it slowly burn up between his fingers.

Who is knocking on my window?

Who is plucking at the strings?

That piece of forgotten time,

Slowly rising up into my heart.

Who is knocking on my window?

Who is plucking at the strings?

Those happy scenes in my memories,

Slowly rising up into my mind,

That falling rain,

Knocking on my window,

Only me, silent, wishing to go back.

---

In which Vera is gaslit by Luci into reading “Brother Li” as not cringe, and also hates translating song lyrics. Also there’s actually one more chapter but uh, in my defense it’s also Xu Xiaobo.

Luci: why are these extra chapters so long orz

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